Almost exactly two years after our first child was born, we were expecting our second little one. They both had late May due dates (May 23rd and May 30th respectively). I don’t like being pregnant in the heat of summer, okay? Ha! If you’ve read my first born’s birth story, this one is a fairly stark contrast. Be prepared that I have spared no details. Isn’t birth glamorous?
A little unnerving finding
We were told at our 20 week anatomy scan that our baby may only have one kidney. They couldn’t find the right kidney. So, we had to go back a few weeks later for a more in depth scan. That was a long couple of weeks. I was concerned about the repercussions if they couldn’t find a second kidney. Not knowing how well the other kidney would function alone. Thankfully and weirdly, they found the kidney, but it wasn’t where it was supposed to be. They found it still hanging out in her abdomen… where it should have ascended from around 8-10 weeks gestation. A pelvic kidney is a normal kidney located in the pelvis, instead of the abdomen. Typically, the kidney functions normally despite being in the wrong location. Often a person with a pelvic kidney will go through their whole life not even knowing they have this condition, unless it is discovered on a newborn kidney ultrasound screening like we did or if complications arise later in life related to this. Or maybe if they have an abdominal scan for something completely unrelated and it is discovered then. Apparently, pelvic kidneys occur in 1 in every 500 people in the U.S. It is not a harmful condition generally, but can develop complications in certain situations. [Source]
Spoiled surprise
So, we were thankful that it shouldn’t be something we needed to worry about. We didn’t want to find out the gender this time either. However, a couple weeks after the in depth scan, around 26 weeks pregnant, I was at work and saw that there was a new electronic document/report on my online hospital account. We had told everyone we had interacted with at the midwife practice, ultrasound techs, and extra medical professionals we had to talk with, that we didn’t want to know the gender. The report I logged on to read was a write up of everything from that more detailed ultrasound we had. As I was scanning the medical jargon, I saw a blip of information that said “Gender: Appears female.” Honestly, my first thought was, “Of course I’m a female!” Then it suddenly hit me…. OH NO!!!!! I started crying and I was furious. I called my husband who was already home from work. I said, “I think I just found out the gender of the baby!” He didn’t care nearly as much as I did that our surprise was spoiled. He was excited and wanted to double check with the sealed envelope they had given us at our 20 week scan. I told him we’d open it together when I got home. It checked out. Ha! I eventually got over my frustration and disappointment. It helped that we didn’t have to keep talking about a boy name. (We had a girl name from our first pregnancy that we didn’t use.)
Due date come and gone
My “due date” of May 30th had passed. The midwives were telling me for a couple weeks that it could be any time. I was getting anxious because our first came 8 days before his “due date”, so I assumed our little girl would come early too! It had been three days and I had all but given up hope that this baby was ever coming out. I felt gigantic. I hated going into work every day and hearing people ask me why I was still there! I even had a male co-worker who seemed genuinely concerned that he was going to have to deliver this baby at the office. The weekend passed and Sunday night I prepared myself for another week of work. Monday morning, June 2nd I woke up with an upset stomach. I wasn’t sure that it was labor related, so I waited at home until about 9:30 and went in to work around 10:00. I had my husband take our two year old to daycare. I worked the whole day and picked up dinner from our next door neighbor. She had made too many enchiladas for her family of five (triplets!). I told her that I would have her to thank if they put me into labor. I didn’t eat much because my stomach was still a tinge on edge. I went to bed around 10 PM I believe. My husband had gone to sleep in our two year old’s room because he had not been sleeping well for a couple days. We think he knew something was about to happen.
No longer waiting
Around 11:30 on Monday night, June 2, I woke up from sleep because my stomach was upset again. I “visited the restroom” and went back to sleep. Around 12 AM I woke up again because I felt what I assumed were contractions in the front of my abdomen. (I didn’t have these types of contractions with our first’s labor. It was all in the back.) My husband was still in bed with the two year old so I went in and stirred him a little bit to tell him that I thought I was in labor. I told him I would come back in a little bit and let him know if I thought it was real. About 20 minutes later I went back in and told him that yes this was real and that he should probably get up and start packing.
I called the midwives group and they gave me the normal spiel. I had labored at home around 7 hours with my first, but this felt different. We continued packing and I had contractions that were fairly manageable, but pretty strong. We called our friend who was going to stay with our two year old around 1:15 AM. We told her not to rush, but maybe within the next hour she should plan on being at our house.
The contractions were pretty close together and still pretty strong. Our friend got to our house around 2:15 AM. By this point I was on the floor with my contractions, they were hurting really bad and I said we really needed to leave the house soon. I was giving her directions and she and my husband were laughing and telling me just to go ahead and leave. We were heading out the door and my water started breaking. I ran to the bathroom. I put on a pad, my friend grabbed a towel, and we got in the car. My water continued breaking in the car with each contraction.
A more than uncomfortable ride
The drive to the hospital seemed so much longer than it was. Thankfully it was around 2:30 AM and there was not a lot of traffic. My husband was driving very fast and going through red lights. My water continued to break in the car. I started to get the urge to push! My husband drove even faster. I was in so much pain at this point. I felt like things were out of control…so much different than my first labor. When we got to the hospital the ER valet lane was closed off. I told him to just stop the car and I would walk in. There were three cops standing around and when I got out of the car they heard me in labor and they quickly rushed to get a wheelchair. The women in triage asked if I had the urge to push. I told them yes, and they said they needed to check me “down there” before sending me up to labor and delivery. I don’t think they told me how much I was dilated, but that I was safe to go up to labor and delivery. Shortly thereafter someone came and got me with a wheelchair. Everything was a blur at this point, the pain was so intense that I really couldn’t control it or keep myself in check.
A blur of activity
I finally got up to a room and got to a bed and it was just a blur of activity. There were a couple nurses and Lori (one of my main midwives) was on call. She checked me and I was at 7 cm! I feel like I had to resist the urge to push from 7cm until 10cm. It was excruciating and I was out of control. When we got to the room I briefly noticed there wasn’t a labor tub (as I had used with my first). I asked about it and they all kind of looked at me like, “Girlfriend, you ain’t got time for that!” A woman came in, and asked if I wanted to try the nitrous oxide (aka laughing gas). I said yes, but she never got her act together so I never used it. My husband said that she kept coming in with the wrong paperwork or the wrong equipment. I was grappling at his arms and hands and closing my eyes so tight. Laying in that bed was so uncomfortable, but I didn’t have the energy to do anything else. I had such a strong urge to push…I even pooped on the bed twice. I was mortified and kept saying “I’m going to poop! I’m going to poop!” and when the nurses said “It’s okay.” I said loudly, “It’s NOT okay! It’s NOT okay!” Oh gosh. The glamour of birth.
At this point it was probably around 3:15 AM (about 15-20 minutes after arriving) or so, and by the time I was at 10cm they said I could really start pushing, although I had been slightly pushing before and Lori was controlling my cervix. They kept telling me to hold both of my legs myself and I kept telling them “NO!” and that I couldn’t do it. Lori told me very directly, but with encouragement, to open my eyes and to look at her. She said, “You CAN do this. You HAVE to do this. She is right here.” I was a big sweaty mess and I really was not controlling my pain well at all like I had with my first. This was just happening so MUCH faster.
She’s here!
I think I pushed a total of maybe four or five times in quick succession and she came right out. The “ring of fire” was excruciating, but since I knew what to expect it wasn’t as bad the second time. She was born at 3:27 AM. (On a Tuesday morning just like her older brother.) They placed her on me immediately and I started crying. It was the most exhausting three and a half hours of my life. I did it though! Whew!! I put her to my breast immediately and she nursed great from the start. Just like her brother did. I delivered the placenta and that felt amazing. I was DONE!
She had a head FULL of thick, dark, black hair. She looked just like her daddy! She weighed 9 lbs. 9 oz and was 21″ long. This was a much quicker, but much more intense labor than the first go round. She may have been taking her good sweet time hanging out in there bypassing her “due date”, but when she decided to come, she wasn’t wasting any time! I never really prepared for this birth like I had with my first (via Lamaze) because it had gone so well, I didn’t see a need to. It’s not that this one did not go well, I just did not have my head in the right space like I had with my first. Note to first time mamas: get mentally prepared!
Afterwards and meeting big brother
The after-labor contractions were much more intense this time, as I had read they would be. When I nursed her, they were definitely painful and I had to moan through those as well. They went away more quickly as far as the length of time I had them, but they were much more intense. After lunch time our friend brought our son to the hospital to see us and his new little sister! My husband’s parents were on their way and were going to get our son and take him back to our house. Our son was a little confused and slightly indifferent about her. I don’t think he quite understood what had happened. He loved her though and it did not take long for them to bond. Such a sweet memory!
I will say that this labor was not as enjoyable as my first, but I’m thankful that it was over quickly and that at the end of it all, we had a healthy, beautiful baby girl. She has the most unique personality out of all of our children, and I always get a kick out of thinking about how she entered the world and how that speaks to her personality. All of ours have in some way. Do your children’s personalities correlate to their birth stories in any way? I would be interested to hear about it! Drop me a comment below.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and nothing I have shared should be taken as medical advice. This is just my story and what worked for me. Please talk to your doctors, midwives, and/or medical staff about dreams you have for you own birth experience. I pray that you are blessed with the births of YOUR dreams!